Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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