kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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