WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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