i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He did a backflip because drugs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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