Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
