also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
