It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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