Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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