please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
