distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
