well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
