Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
