Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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