Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
