We named our party play list daddy issues
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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