i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
