rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
