At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
