It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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