he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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