Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
