so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
