I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
