I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
