forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
