I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
