Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize