I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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