I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize