just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
