out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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