I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
