hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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