people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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