Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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