i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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