she was so not down for the gang bang
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
