Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
