apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
