Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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