Pappa wants mamma naked
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
