Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
