I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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