So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
