Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
