You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I look better un-naked...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
