that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
