Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize