Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
