I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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