Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
