No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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