just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
