Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
