But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
