We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
