Whod you bang
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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