You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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