my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's shark week go big or go home
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize