"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
