You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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