woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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