Your tits are I can't wait for
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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