Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
