he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
