Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
