the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize