better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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