its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
