So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
