I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
