i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
