Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
