oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
