woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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