my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
