i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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