Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
